To reach your New Year’s goals…

Ask for help

Many of us have been taught that asking for help or assistance is a sign of weakness.  If we haven’t been taught this belief, we have perhaps asked for help in the past and been disappointed from the lack of support we had hoped to receive.  This lack of support could’ve been from others or the universe as we define it.

As a result of not getting what we had hoped to receive, we felt disappointed and sometimes abandoned. This caused us to not want to be vulnerable again, covering our need for help and pulling our boot straps up. As a result, our new mindset mantra became, “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me!”


This is the battle cry of many people who are goal-oriented. Perhaps striving and driving to reach our goals independently has worked to a certain extent, but how could we have reached our goals in a more efficient and effective way if we asked for help?

Don’t get me wrong: Being strong and independent isn’t bad. In order to reach your goals this new year, it is important to be discerning about:

  • When to be strong enough to stand alone.
  • Smart enough to know when you need help.
  • Brave enough to ask for it.

There are times we need to be strong enough to stand alone. This is when we feel strongly convicted about a vision and others may not necessarily support us initially. It takes courage to own our vision anyway. However, it is also smart to know when going it alone is not going to work. Discernment tells us when we must take a deep breath, be vulnerable and ask for help. In many ways, this is harder than doing it alone. As we breathe, we must swallow our pride and humble ourselves so others can contribute to us, without us feeling less than or out of control because we did not have all the answers.

When we get in the habit of thinking “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me!” we cut off our ability to receive and ask for help. When we cannot trust anyone else to be there for us or do it as well as us, we develop a Grandiose E.G.O., which Edges our Greatest self Out.  This “greatest self” has an ability to receive extraordinary assistance from others and the universe when we take the following four steps:

4 Steps to Receive Help:

1) Ask:
When we ask specific questions like, “How might I ________?” and stay open-minded, we receive help. Help may come to us in the form of others helping or inspiration.

2) Seek:
When we are curious and open-minded for your answer to appear, synchronicity occurs.

3) Believe:
When we believe wholeheartedly what we asked for will appear in one form or another, we attract to us what now is coming our way.

4) Receive:
When we believe, without doubt, we allow possibilities to come our way because we are open-hearted and open-minded.

While receiving can be difficult for people who are used to having all the answers or being in charge, it can also make the journey to our goals less stressful.  When we learn how to humbly receive help, we create a space for others to play a role in helping us reach our goals. This requires leadership because it is the leader’s task to create the vision, encourage, and engage others to participate in the execution towards the vision and goals. Nothing is more motivating for people than to feel they are a contributor to a vision bigger than themselves.

As we learn to ask for help, we begin to realize that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.  It takes a confident and humble person to understand that he does not have all the answers, nor can he do it alone. Creating a space for others to step in and demonstrate their greatness means we have gone to the next level of leadership. As a result, we are not only receiving help, we are leading others to reach their full potential by allowing them to contribute their greatness.

Challenge: Where could you benefit from receiving help? Are you willing to let go of your “right way” of doing it so others can contribute?  n

-Susan K. Wehrley is a business consultant and coach helping leaders and teams to align to the goals with her ALIGN Business Builder Process. She is also an author of six leadership and empowerment books. Her website is She can be reached at: (414) 581-0449 or

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Susan K. Wehrley is an executive coach and business consultant that aligns executives and businesses to their vision, values and goals. She is also a regular contributor to Forbes. You can email Susan at, (262) 696-6856 or visit her website for more details.

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