What we think about we bring about. Understanding how our thoughts create results is an important skill for business people to learn – as everything first gets manifested in the mind and then becomes reality. This is our EGO at work, which is similar to a database in a computer.
Sometimes that database serves us in greater performance, and other times we need to work out the kinks and bugs so we are a high-performing machine.
I prefer to refer to the ego as EGO in big letters to remind us that the EGO can Edge Our God-like self Out and the Group Out when we are operating from our big or little EGO.
I define the big or little EGO as the part of us that operates from fear and anxiety, caused by our limited and negative thinking. When we focus on the things we DON’T want to happen, we have created a “not goal” in our mind that is sure to manifest.
The big EGO ensures this fear happens as it pushes toward the goal in its independence and grandiosity. This impulsive and stubborn style of relating can make others feel overwhelmed and dominated. The little EGO, also fear-based, instead flattens out like a pancake and gets stuck in hopelessness caused by its limited thinking and self-doubt. Procrastination is the hallmark of the little EGO who believes it is enough and doesn’t have enough resources to get where it needs to go.
So if our big and little EGOs hinder us, what aspect of our EGO can help us?
Our ego strength and our connection to our intuitive self give us an ability to stand tall in the face of adversity. The hallmark of someone with ego strength is a curious and open mindset that wonders, ‘What is the possibility not yet seen?’ This mindset is achieved by thinking a curious statement such as,
“Hmmm…isn’t that interesting…How might I (we)…?”
Notice how this statement catapults us to a curious thought process that otherwise might sound like judgment that limits us, such as: “Oh no! Now what am I going to do!” This sends a message to us that we are in a bad and limited situation.
To illustrate the power of our judgmental thinking and negative mindset, let me humble myself and tell you a story where this hindered me. It was Easter and I wanted to wear a spring dress that got a bit snug over the winter, which lifted my dress up an inch or two shorter than I was accustomed to wearing. While I was aware this made me self-conscious, in my stubbornness (big EGO) I chose to wear it and kept saying to myself, “I must stay aware of my hemline so I DON’T show too much!” This thought process made me (little EGO) get triggered, fearing all day I would expose more than I desired!
Well, this self-fulfilling prophecy occurred when I walked out of church, hit a crack in the sidewalk, and fell out of my sandals onto the ground. Need I say where my hemline ended up? Of course, that which I feared became my reality!
What we think about, we bring about
So if negative and limited thinking causes us to be in fear – and sets off our big and little EGO – and causes a negative outcome, how can our ego-strength and intuitive self help us instead?
When we focus on a problem-solving question like, “How might I (we)…?” we are more able to create the life we want. Pausing to listen within to the answer to our question gets us in sync with our self – which is an intuitive voice inside that guides us to what we should do or say. When we don’t heed to this intuitive voice, we find ourselves working harder, not smarter, to achieve what we want.
Had I paused and asked, “How might I choose a dress I’m comfortable in and feel good in?” I’m sure I would not have created the experience I feared most.
Challenge: Where do you need to tap into your ego strength, slow down, and listen to your intuitive self? n
-Susan Wehrley is an author, speaker, business coach and consultant specializing in organizational communication and growth. You can visit her websites at www.solutionsbysusan.com or www.BIZremedies.com. She can be reached at (414) 581-0449 or email@example.com.