‘Love and be loved …’

According to Heather Scherer, the final 30 days she spent with her husband, Kenny, were the best of their lives.

Kenny Scherer died of brain cancer on May 25, 2011, at age 51.

“We had a great marriage, but when you are faced with something like that. With that severe of a diagnosis, nothing else matters but being real. Every day is a new day,” she said.

“Shortly after the diagnosis, the hospice chaplain offered Kenny a road map of these four end-of-life tasks,” Heather said. “For the rest of his time, he carried that card around in his wallet. He knew and we knew that those four things didn’t represent death they represented life.”

The four tasks on the card were: forgive and be forgiven, love and be loved, express and receive gratitude, and be able to let go and say goodbye.

“We found peace in the situation very early on, and continued to live each day on its own,” Heather said. “We had fun, we had gatherings and barbecues, and he lived life to the fullest. He wasn’t afraid of dying. He really spent the last few days of his life showing people how to die.”

The night before Kenny’s memorial service, the family members gathered and drank a shot of Patron tequila in Kenny’s honor. According to Heather, that’s what Kenny would have wanted.

“It sounds strange, but what I say to everyone is that other than having him here with me, I wouldn’t change anything about the way it happened. He was able to impact so many people, change so many people’s perspective on life. It happened the way it was supposed to happen, and I have a greater appreciation for life now. I try to live each day in the moment because we never know what tomorrow is going to bring.”

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