It’s that time of year when everyone is thinking about their New Year’s resolutions and goals. Why do we often start out with zeal, only to find we aren’t where we hoped to be mid-year? While most of us will blame “not enough time” as the reason, the truth is usually that we have not followed one or more of the following goal setting success strategies below:
1) Resolve inner conflict.
Begin with the big picture in mind. Create a vision for the year. Remember: What we think about we bring about, so therefore you need to visualize what you want first, before you can make it happen.
We sabotage our success when we believe we have more than one goal that may be in conflict with the other. For example, you may say you want to lose weight, but maybe you love the freedom of eating out and not exercising. You may say you want to make more money, but you may value your free time and not want discipline and structure. You may say you want to be in a relationship, but you may want autonomy more.
Understanding when we have cognitive dissonance is important, because we will not achieve anything if we have inner conflict. Where there is inner conflict, use the following Success Strategy Equation, “How might I have ‘this’ and ‘that’?” so that you can begin to imagine both things are possible.
2) Be clear about the payoff.
The greatest payoff for any achievement is how we will feel when we reach our intended destination. So, if you have a new vision for your life, ask yourself the “why” behind your vision and it will lead you to the feeling you want.
For example:
Why do you want to be fit?
To feel more energy, attractive, stronger, healthier, resilient, __________ .
Why do you want more money?
To feel more freedom, power, security, influence, generosity,__________ .
Why do you want more success?
To feel appreciated, joy, important, powerful, empowered__________ .➢
Why do you want a relationship?
To feel more loved, connected, important, secure, happy, __________ .
Why do you want more expertise/knowledge?
To feel smart, unique, secure, powerful, influential, __________ .
Why do you want more freedom?
To feel more peace, joy, happiness, spontaneity, power, __________ .
The reason we often stop manifesting our vision is because we stop getting the feeling we want. For example, we may want to own our own business to feel more in control, but then when we are working more hours and worrying about the payroll we suddenly want to sell the business because we feel out of control. If that happens, ask yourself this success strategy equation, “How can I do this (own my own business) and feel that (in control)?” This question will help you think of new possibilities before you just quit.
3) Engage support.
Now it’s time to engage the support of others. In order to do that, don’t just announce all the things you need to do to reach your vision. Most people will automatically wonder, “How will this affect me?” Start with a conversation regarding your vision and the positive feelings you hope to receive. For example, say, “I want more health so I can have more energy; or I want more money so we can have more freedom in the future.”
If you get resistance, be open to discuss the how to steps to make your vision a reality. Remember, there are many roads that lead to the same destination, so look for the win-win solutions.
When there seems to be a conflict, use the success strategy equation. Let’s say you want to achieve the following next year: get fit, make more money, and have more free time. Let’s say your spouse wants you to travel less and spend more time with the family. The success strategy equation asks, “How might I get fit AND make more money AND have more free time AND travel less AND spend more time with the family?”
While at first glance you may think it’s impossible to solve this equation and have it all, allow creativity to bring you possibilities you never dreamed of before!
Challenge: What inner conflict do you need to resolve? What payoff do you want? Who do you need to engage in the process? What is YOUR success strategy equation? How might I get x, y and z?
