My minister gave a sermon on “Black Lives Matter.” Her talk made me understand that I see people differently from most others.
Some 40 years ago, a shabbily dressed man came to my office. He smelled. As I was the “new guy,” my manager told me to talk with him and get rid of him. I spoke with him, treated him with respect, and asked what he needed. He replied that he wanted to purchase risky bonds. I said: “Excuse me, Sir, but what you want to buy may not be suitable for you. They are designed for people with with high net-worths and incomes.” He smiled and pulled out a Mutual Savings Bank account with $210,000. This is a lot of money now, but it was a fortune in 1976. He became one of my best accounts and a friend.
Where did I get this way of looking at people as who they are then how society see them?
I believe it was in the Army. I enlisted during the Vietnam War as a private and was awarded a direct commission into the Special Forces, mainly because my academics helped me understand how Asians saw the world. Later I served at the G-2 Intelligence level for 1st Division and in the Delta while in Vietnam.
When you serve in the field you need to see your men as individuals. They cannot be seen as “an Irishman” or “a Black,” or “a Jew.” That is how others identify them. You operate as a team, but you need to treat everyone with respect. You accept them for who they are.
Are you a Catholic or black man, or a man who is Catholic or black? This is more than a subtle difference.
I never saw a woman in a war zone, but I would agree with the Navy Seal who recently was asked if he would serve with a woman. He replied that he would be proud to serve with any woman who qualified to be a Navy Seal. He added that women served in the field with him.
In the field, the questions that need to be asked are: Is your comrade qualified? Will he or she be there to have your back? Can you count on him or her? Race, religion, sex, and sexual orientation or birthplace are irrelevant.
Henry Jordan, the famed Green Bay Packer, said, “Coach Lombardi treats everyone the same-like dogs.” Lombardi suffered discrimination himself and learned from it. He did not care if you were black or gay or what. He wanted 110 percent from you. Then you earned his respect.
This is what I am talking about. Not superior to inferior. Not white to black or black to yellow. What is needed is mutual respect.
Some 35 years ago I was working on the finances of my church. The church owned a property next to the church. One day after church, I saw a member sitting alone after our services. I started a conversation and discovered that he was a retired postal worker who had real estate in the city.
“That is great,” I exclaimed, “Do you think you might consider being on our committee? We could use some help.”
He teared up.
“Gee,” I said, “I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just asking.”
“No,” he replied, “I’d be honored to help. It just that no one has ever asked me to serve.”
He had been a member for over two decades, joining when our then minister was active in civil rights. Except for the minister, I was the first one to chat with him. He felt acceptance and, hopefully, respect. He was invaluable to the church. He became a friend.
Yes “black lives matter,” but what is important is to look at people as individuals, accept them for who they are and respect them. This is the best way to improve our relationships in our society. More folks should try it.
Bob Chernow is a Milwaukee businessman.
