“It’s all about Charlie,” my colleague muttered, as we waited for him once again for a meeting. “He never thinks about anyone else’s schedule. His is always more important – and he’ll let you know it.”
Fifteen minutes later, with a few quick jokes and a dazzling smile, he swept into the room. Before long he was on his email, and then stepped out to take a call.
What’s going on here?
Ego strength is a necessary character trait for leadership, but it can derail a career if it’s not in balance with other behaviors, such as empathy and collaboration. Over time, Charlie’s self-absorbed behavior will erode the support of his colleagues, no matter how well he performs his job.
How do you recognize an over-developed ego? It feels like arrogance if you’re on the receiving end. The over-developed ego – I’ll call it the OE type – will typically jump in and out of meetings, disrupting the agenda. He or she will take calls during a one-on-one conversation. The OE will steer meetings to outcomes he or she wants, blowing past others’ ideas. Often, the OE will have a larger than life personality, and sometimes that manifests in charm and charisma; other times, the OE type acts like a bully. Either way, they aim to win.
OE types with talent often rise to the top of their field. They brush off rejection and failure – in fact, they barely notice it – as they single-mindedly plow ahead toward their goals. That works to a point and it’s particularly useful in an individual contributor role, like sales. But when they find themselves in a position of leadership, it can begin to unravel.
Here’s why:
- Rather than listen to others’ views about why something won’t work, he/she will push it through anyway. Resistance from the troops – both active and passive – will stall implementation.
- Rather than share the credit with those who deserve it, he/she will wear the team’s results like a personal badge. Team resentment builds and initiative and ownership flag.
- Peers, who have grown tired of disrespectful behavior toward themselves and their teams, will tend to passively watch the OE make a mistake, rather than jump in with corrective, honest feedback. They have learned it isn’t heard or heeded anyway, so why try to bail him or her out?
- Senior management, which is wowed with the OE’s star quality, will eventually have to face up to the OE’s “dark side.” If the OE’s bad behavior results in losing high potential employees, peer complaints, or lack of support for the OE’s upward promotability, the senior leaders will have to deal with that fallout. Ultimately, the OE’s career will stall or derail.
- The OE tends to hold many jobs in his or her career. Usually, they interview well and make a big splash early. But over time, they get themselves into trouble with comments and actions the culture rejects.
Sometimes, the OE will have a life-changing event that will force him or her to look in the mirror. Sometimes, they will benefit from an external coach, who is tough enough to call them on their behavior and teach them new approaches. If they are lucky, they will get a good manager who will call out the inappropriate behavior and mentor them to the greatness they are capable of …if they can just get out of their own way.
-Joan Lloyd is a Milwaukee-based executive coach and organizational and leadership development strategist. She has a proven track record spanning more than 20 years, and is known for her ability to help leaders and their teams achieve measurable, lasting improvements. Email your question to Joan at info@joanlloyd.com and visit www.JoanLloyd.com to search an archive of more than 1,600 of Joan’s articles. Contact Joan Lloyd & Associates at (414) 354-9500.
