That famous line from the movie starring Paul Neuman and Strother Martin is representative of many daily conversations between a manager and their employees. The manager believes their message is clear in its content but the employee’s understanding no way reflects the intended message.
Let’s look at 10 steps that will help you focus your communication so that the potential for misunderstanding is reduced significantly. As part of my seminars and at Keller Graduate School, I have been teaching these 10 steps for more than 10 years. These steps originated with a previously published article titled the “Ten Commandments of Communication” in the Harvard Business School newsletter.
1. Seek to clarify your ideas before communicating
Many communications fail because of inadequate planning, and because we don’t fully consider the goals and attitudes of those who will receive the communication. In many situations we also fail to consider those who will be affected by it.
Tools to use:
• Drafting an outline in advance and reviewing it with your peers.
• Confine the communication to one or two relevant goals.
• Identify other individuals who will be affected by this communication.
2. Examine the true purpose of each communication
You need to identify your most important goal for each communication. It will require you to adapt your language, tone and approach to serve that specific goal. Remember, the sharper the focus of your message, the greater its chance of success.
Tools to use:
• Determine what changes you desire behaviorally from your target audience and focus your communication on that behavior.
• Beware of your tone, be assertive, not aggressive.
• Choose your language carefully, your words can betray your intent.
3. Consider the total physical and human setting whenever you communicate
The meaning and intent of a communication is conveyed by more than words. We must take into consideration the “physical setting,” the “social climate” and “custom and past practice” at the firm. The communication must be capable to adapt to its environment.
Tools to use:
• Where you hold your meeting or deliver your message can determine how it is interpreted (past practice).
• Holding a meeting in your office sends a different signal than holding it in a neutral location (the power of the office).
• Who attends the meeting also sends a message to the receiver, be careful who you invite.
4. Consult with others when appropriate, in planning communications
Consulting with others often helps to lend additional insight and objectivity to your message. Remember, those who helped you plan your communication, will give it their active support.
Tools to use:
• Sit down with your peers and your reports to see how the communication is interpreted by them.
• Adjust your communication based on their comments.
• Use their words in your communication to demonstrate respect for their input.
5. Be mindful of the overtones as well as the basic content of your message
The subtleties of a communication often impacts/affects a listener’s reaction to a message even more than its basic content. Many times the choice of language predominates in large part the reactions of your listeners to your communication. The diversity of today’s workforce makes this an important consideration.
Tools to use:
• Know your audience. Use the correct vocabulary level when speaking with them, so not to speak over their heads or insult their level of intelligence. Stay away from “corporate speak.”
• Stay away from words or phases that could be misinterpreted, especially when dealing with individuals from other cultures.
• Gain insights by speaking with someone from that culture.
6. Take the opportunity to convey something of help or value to the receiver
It is critical to consider the other person’s needs and interests when composing your communication. It is to your advantage to look at things from their point of view. It is important to convey something of immediate benefit or long range value in your communication. You don’t want them to walk away saying, “I wonder what they are really up to?”
Tools to use:
• Use the anchoring technique and start your conversation with a positive thought, so that the audience will be drawn to your message.
• Address their concerns as well as your own, this will reduce resistance to your message.
7. Follow up on your communication
Following up on how you put your message across is very important.
Tools to use:
• You should ask questions, and encourage the receiver to respond.
• Ask them to demonstrate that they understand the communication.
• In order to receive feedback, use follow up contacts, and then review performance.
8. Communicate for tomorrow as well as today
Planning your communication with the past in mind is important to maintain consistency in the receiver’s view. Your communication needs to be consistent with your long range interests and goals as well as theirs.
Tools to use:
• Review previous communications to insure you are consistent with past practices.
• Neutralize any past commitments that were not executed by acknowledging them and stating what actions have been taken.
9. Be sure your actions support your communications
Employees will watch your actions to see if they contradict your words. You need to be consistent in both your words and actions.
Tools to use:
• Don’t fall into the trap of, “Do as I say, not what I do.”
• Be sure your peers and subordinates do not contradict your statements by their actions.
10. Seek not only to be understood, but to understand, be a good listener
It is a proven fact that listening is one of the most important, most difficult, and most neglected skills in communication.
Tools to use:
• Use “active listening” to measure the level of understanding within the audience. It also provides you the opportunity to clarify your message. For example, encourage your audience to ask questions after your presentation. The questions that are asked will demonstrate how well they understand what you are trying to communicate. You may need to clarify one or more points as a result of the questions posed.
If you follow these 10 steps, you will find that the chances of you failing to communicate will diminish greatly and you will be more effective in achieving your goals.
