Robert Shovers confronts alcoholism, which was turning success into ashes
Building on the Racine-area real estate foundation his grandfather created in 1952 and his father later "framed in," Robert Shovers seemed to have it all.
His three thriving businesses (real estate sales and appraisals, residential construction, and real estate investment portfolios), lakeshore home, loving wife and family all gave the appearance of the American success dream.
But the fires of alcoholism were turning his success into ashes.
This self-acknowledged Type A overachiever who craved control explains, "I began drinking greater amounts after college," he says. "Up until 1999, I was a functioning alcoholic, able to juggle all the aspects of my homelife and businesses."
That year, his mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. "She was caring for my father, who was dying from a slow and debilitating disease, and she herself was dying. I no longer could control the world I knew. More and more I used alcohol to escape," Shovers recalls. "I’d stop at a local bar and have a few cocktails on the way home, drinking alone and getting angry at life in general. Then I’d go home, drink through dinner, verbally berate my family and pass out. The next day I’d get up, go to work, make money and do it all again."
He ignored several signs of alcoholism for a long time. "I’m a hobby chef and love cooking, but I’d given it up to drink. I avoided customers, family and friends. My entrepreneurial spirit was about dead, and my health was beginning to suffer," he says. "Finally, at 37, I was sick of being sick. Thank God my wife Debra and life-long friend Paul Schaffer stepped in."
The two did research and contacted the All Saints Center for Addiction Recovery that is associated with Hazelden treatment centers. They found a detoxification program at Northwestern Hospital in Chicago and told Bob he was going. He checked in May 1.
"I was a very sick man, so they monitored me closely. People can die going through alcohol detox," Shovers acknowledges. "The doctors told me it was unlikely I would have lived to see my son’s 11th birthday (about a year away) if I hadn’t stopped drinking. They got my attention and I heeded their advice. They helped me to get in touch with my own mental and physical needs."
The usual next step was a stay at a Hazelden halfway house in downtown Chicago, but Shovers didn’t want to be away from his businesses. "My wife gave me one option: attend the daily four-week program at All Saints from 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.," he says. "If I screwed that up, I would have to go to a month-long ‘resort’ course in Minnesota. I knew I’d lose a lot of business if I did that, so I was doubly motivated to make a go of recovery. My health and my business depended on it."
Shovers made it through the four-week program. "I give a lot of credit to Mary Alford of All Saints," he says, "and to Samuel C. Johnson who brought Hazelden into partnership with All Saints, plus provided a building."
As a recovering alcoholic, Shovers’ priorities have changed. "God is first, followed by family, friends and business," he asserts. "I may get them jumbled at times, but I step back and evaluate my life to reorder things if they get mixed up."
Physically, he’s feeling much better and believes it would be suicidal to relapse. Mentally, Shovers can now concentrate on complex matters and take advantage of business opportunities he was missing before. "Paul Schaffer is now a business partner as well as a friend – he was leery before because of my alcoholism; and we have things in the works that could be very lucrative."
In addition to business success, Shovers defines success by his improved family relationships. He’s also rekindled old friendships and reached out to others in business with similar problems. "My AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) sponsor, it turns out, is someone I’d known since I was a kid and he even worked for me at one time. No longer silent about the disease, I now talk to others. I’ve been able to bring two to the table since May," he notes. "I ask them to go to meetings with me and have referred them to All Saints. Analogous to Johnny Appleseed, I’m scattering seeds, but it’s up to them to get help and get the monkey off their back."
Confidential treatment available nearby
Located in Racine at the intersection of highways 20 and H (Washington Avenue), the All Saints/Hazelden Center for Addiction Recovery opened in July 2001 to provide several outpatient treatment programs. Dennis Reichelt serves as program manager, with three full-time clinical therapists assisting him.
"Bob Shovers attended our four-week outpatient day treatment program," explains Mary Alford, clinical therapist II. "The fourth week of the program includes family members."
The center also offers four-week intensive programs, in the morning from 9:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. or in the evening from 6 to 8 p.m. "The family is also part of this program because alcohol or drug addiction affects more than the addicted person," Alford says. "We encourage employers and others who are part of the addict’s support network to attend sessions, as well."
For those concerned about loved ones or friends, the center helps with interventions. Those are sessions where the person with addictive behavior and those who care about him/her discuss drug/alcohol behaviors and what they would like to change about them. The center prepares family and friends for interventions and helps facilitate the sessions, if requested. It also provides information on area detox and treatment programs.
"Our facility is beautiful and homey, complete with a fireplace," Alford says. "We have several group rooms, quiet meditation rooms, a patio and a landscaped yard. We encourage past participants and anyone else to stop in and browse our bookstore, use a mediation room or learn more about our services. We also host two Alcoholics Anonymous programs, which are open to the public."
For more information, you can call the center at 262-687-8626.
Dec. 20, 2002 Small Business Times, Milwaukee
