Editor’s note: This is the third and final installment in a series of columns that examines how societal expectations in China have changed in recent years. The 1997 observations below were made by authors Mary Murray Bosrock and Craig MacIntosh in the book titled, “Asia: A Fearless Guide to International Communication and Behavior (Put Your Best Foot Forward).” The 2014 observations were made by BizTimes Milwaukee China correspondent Einar Tangen.
1997: “Conservative, simple, unpretentious, modest clothing should be worn – nothing flashy or overly fashionable. For business, men should wear sport coats and ties. Slacks and open-necked shirts are generally suitable in the summer for business meetings. Jackets and ties are not necessary.”
2014: How you dress reflects your status in China. For a man to be taken seriously, he needs to wear a suit and tie. Your shoes should be polished and you should pay attention to your personal grooming. In summer bring light weight suits and extra shirts. There are exceptions if you are a fashion designer, artist, movie mogul or professor. Expats who have been in the country awhile often go native, in the sense they start dressing like Chinese businessmen and officials. I am not certain that it works as well as they think. One of the positive stereotypes of Western foreigners is that they are sophisticated and well mannered. Over the years China lost its class structure, but it is a nation which is quickly trying to recreate one. When you are in China, meeting people for the first time, treat it like an interview. You need to be in control of the impression you create because, as they say, you won’t get a second chance to make a first impression. No matter the circumstances, the less people know about you the more they will rely on how you look, carry and conduct yourself.
1997: “Women should wear dresses or pantsuits for business and should avoid heavy make up and dangling, gaudy jewelry.”
2014: This advice is perhaps a bit outdated. If you are leading your group, you should dress fashionably and be impeccably groomed. Jewelry should match the outfit rather than dominate it. Jade, gold, diamonds and major jewelry brands are an exception, as they portray wealth and status. Chinese women take great care and pride in their appearance; you should also. The issue is confidence and how you carry and conduct yourself. In business meetings, while you need to follow your mother’s advice about modest physical decorum, do not shy away from being direct and forceful about the issues. China is not Japan and until 15 years ago women made up half the leadership. The key is to act the part you want. If you act like a secretary or a subordinate you will be treated as one.
1997: “Women should avoid bare backs, shorts, low-cut tops and excessive jewelry.”
2014: This is still good advice, unless you happen to be a supermodel in your spare time.
1997: “Present a gift with both hands. Gifts are generally not opened upon receiving. Always give a gift to everyone present or don’t give gifts at all.”
2014: Taking something, a business card or a present, with both hands indicates you think it is precious and important. It’s a visual sign of respect for the item and the person giving it to you. People do not open gifts in front of others for two reasons: you cannot always be sure what’s in the box and most expensive gifts end up being re-gifted. Choice of gifts is important. It should symbolize what you want the relationship to be. A gift with your company’s logo and their name can be a very nice gift showing a desire for a long-term relationship. Remember no knives or clocks, but calendars are fine. If you are exchanging official gifts, the gift you give to your opposite number does not have to be the same as what you give others in the room.
1997: “Older Chinese usually refuse a gift at first to be polite. Offer a second time.”
2014: Most Chinese will refuse a gift three times. Just keep offering and they must eventually accept. The idea is that a gift should be given freely, rather than expected, although of course it is. This little convention is played out as a formality.
1997: “Never give a gift of great value until a clear relationship is established. This would cause embarrassment and may not be accepted. Never give gifts in sets (i.e., dishes), and never in groups of four (a number associated with death).”
2014: The reason you do not give a gift of great value before the relationship has been established is because it looks like a bribe. If you give wine or foods do not give one. Two is a better number; it shows generosity. If it’s a piece of art or porcelain, one is fine. Do not give four of something because the number four in China sounds like the word for death.
1997: “Avoid white, which is symbolic of death, especially of parents, and black, which symbolizes tragedy or death.”
2014: Actually, blue is the color associated with death because bodies are wrapped in a blue shroud.
1997: “When invited to someone’s home, always bring a small gift for the hostess, such as brandy, chocolates or cakes.”
2014: This is standard anywhere you go so no surprises, a box of chocolates, one cake, but if you bring liquor make sure to bring two.
1997: “Be prepared to exchange a modest gift with your business colleagues at the first meeting. Not giving a gift could start a business meeting off on the wrong foot.”
2014: In lieu of a small gift, an invitation to lunch will also suffice. As a foreigner you want to make a friendly impression, but I notice none of our Chinese employees bring gifts when they start working.
1997: “Always give gifts to each member of the Chinese delegation that meets you in the order in which they were introduced. Suggested gifts: cigarettes (especially Marlboro and Kent), French brandy, whiskey, pens, lighters, desk attire, cognac, books, framed paintings. Give more valuable gifts – like cellular phones or small CD players – to senior level people.”
2014: What a difference a decade makes. This advice was written at a time when access to and funds for expensive foreign items was limited. Today, it is better to give something that expresses your personal tastes – your favorite single malt scotch, a framed landscape picture of your favorite vacation spot or something with your company’s logo as described above. In terms of the order and value of the gifts, as said before they should not be of equal value. Remember the gate keeper principle; be kind and thoughtful to those who help you. For example I always give a small gift to the drivers, interpreters and the administrative people. The next time you call or see them it guarantees a warm smile. They do not expect it, and it is often the small unexpected things that have the greatest impact. Remember you will be the subject of their internal discussions after you leave and a few good words from many quarters will help a lot.
1997: “Give a group gift from your company to the host company. Present this gift to the leader of the delegation.”
2014: This still holds true, just make sure someone from your side is taking pictures, as it shows you also value the moment.
Helpful hints from 1997:
- Chinese find “no” difficult to say. They may say “maybe” or “we’ll see” in order to save face.
- Always refer to China as “China” or “People’s Republic of China,” never as “Red China,” “Communist China” or “Mainland China.”
- Always refer to Taiwan as “Taiwan” or “Province of Taiwan,” never “China,” “Republic of China” (the name adapted by the Nationalist forces after they fled to Taiwan) or “Free China.”
- Do not in any way suggest that Taiwan is not part of China.
- Show respect for older people. Offer a seat or right of way through the door to a colleague or older person as a polite gesture.
- Return applause when applauded.
- Refrain from being loud, boisterous or showy.
- Do not be insulted if the Chinese ask personal questions such as “How much money do you make?” “How many children do you have?” or “Are you married?” Just change the subject if you do not want to answer.
- Asking about divorce would cause a Chinese person to lose face.
- Forcing the Chinese to say “no” will quickly end a relationship.
- Never say or act like you are starving and don’t ask for a doggy bag.
- Most Chinese women don’t wear wedding rings. Don’t assume marital status.
2014: This is still good advice.
Einar Tangen, formerly from Milwaukee, now lives and works in Beijing, China. He is an adviser to Heilongjiang Province, Hebei Province QEDTZ, China.org.cn, China International Publishing Group, Beijing Baotong and DGI DESIGN. He is also a weekly public affairs commentator for CCTV News’ Dialogue and the author of “The Kunshan Way,” an economic development history of China’s leading county level city. While in Milwaukee, he was a partner at Jackson, Morgan and Tangen, president of E-Tech and a senior vice president at Stifel Nicolaus. He chaired various boards in Milwaukee and was a member of the Federal Home Loan Bank of Chicago. Readers who would like to submit questions or suggest areas of interest can send an e-mail to steve.jagler@biztimes.com.
