It’s that drab time of year when many of us think about taking a trip to get away from it all. If you are interested in going on a tour, may I suggest a Technology Tour to that big continent down under, Microsoft Land? The Microsoft Land Tour is for people who would like to know more about Microsoft and what you can do in Microsoft Land.
First item on our itinerary is how best to get to Microsoft Land. It’s not really hard to get there; all roads lead to Microsoft and, if you’re flying, eventually you’ll get to Microsoft.
The Technology Tour begins at the capital – Windows City. You will be met at the airport by Microsoft Land representatives who will issue you a Microsoft Passport. Not only is this essential to gain entrance to the continent, but also you will have to use the Passport if you want to purchase anything while you are there. A word to the wise, please make sure your Passport is securely stored. There have been reports of hackers stealing Passports.
In Windows City, the Tour will first visit the 3.1 Historical district. You can relive the joy and romance that you first had when you installed Windows 3.1. Remember the bonding associated with frequent crashes and lockups?
Next in Windows City, you will visit the quirky ruins of ME. It was a "hot" spot for a while, but was shortly abandoned after it was built.
Many people enjoy the next part of Windows City – the XP business fun district. You will be able to play music and videos on Media Player while you search for business tips in Internet Explorer 6.0. The XP business fun district was recently painted in vibrant, translucent colors. Bring your camera.
There are two side trips on the Tour to choose from: The Labyrinth Caves of Server and the Joys of Programming Institute.
Please stay close to your tour guide in the Labyrinth Caves of Server. The caves are interconnected and you can easily get lost. The various Server Cave branches include: SQL, Exchange, Application Center, Backoffice Center, BizTalk, Commerce, Content Manger, IIS, Proxy, Sharepoint Portal, Mobile Information, Small Business, SNA, Systems Management, 2000 Server, 2000 Advanced Server, and 2000 Datacenter Server. You see why it is easy to get lost.
The Joys of Programming Institute is the only portion of the tour where you can actually learn a craft from the natives. You can come home with an e-commerce solution written in XML or a Web database written in Visual C++. Tour members attending the three-day institute are advised to watch their steps, there are .Net’s everywhere.
After your optional side trip, tour members travel to the Cosmopolitan port city of Office. There you’ll get to sample the sights and sounds of Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Access, Outlook, Publisher, FrontPage, Project, Visio, Mappoint and DataAnalyzer. Bring your Passport since the shops in Office offer many irresistible bargains. Nighttime in Office throbs to the beat of XBOX nightclubs. You can beat up a friend, fly hypersonic jets and play football with John Madden in an XBOX nightclub. XBOX is the newest addition to Microsoft Land and it is very popular. Adults of all ages will enjoy these stops, but you will enjoy it more if you bring a 9-year old child to help you.
Following two days of Tours in Office, you have a day on your own. You can either use this as a day of rest on Network Beach (watch out for the security bugs – they sting) or spend a day at the Encarta museum. In the museum you can see most of the paintings ever painted and listen to the call of wild animals.
Boarding the Microsoft Scholastic Magic Bus, the tour wraps up, appropriately enough, on the Great Plains of Money. This is home to the Great Plains Accounting tribe. If you’re like thousands of others, you will appreciate their Financial Statement dances and their rituals involving Money: a tool said to protect investments.
Several people have asked if the Tour will visit Security City. Unfortunately, it is closed for repairs at this time. Neither will this tour have time to visit the state of TerraServer. TerraServer alone would be a tour in itself (http://terraserver.homeadvisor.msn.com/). We had to save something for your next tour to Microsoft Land.
The cost of this tour is not known at press time, since prices are being continually revised. To help you start planning, to visit all the Microsoft Land sites described above, plan on spending over $20,000 per person; www.cdw.com has more than 50 pages of Microsoft "souvenirs" you can buy.
Microsoft Land has many wonderful sights and sounds. But it can be overwhelming to try to learn all about Microsoft on your own. That’s why the guided tours are so popular.
If you want to learn more about Microsoft prior to taking this tour, you might enroll in MATC’s COMPSW-107 Intermediate Microsoft Office.
March 1, 2002 Small Business Times, Milwaukee
