Home Ideas Leadership Four simple questions for better one-on-ones

Four simple questions for better one-on-ones

Make your time with each employee more valuable for both of you

Here’s a secret: One-on-ones are among the best leadership strategies I know.  But let me explain. By “one-on-ones,” I don’t mean the many one-to-one interactions you have with your employees every day. They’re not the drive-by conversations when a problem comes up or a new need arises.  One-on-ones are formally scheduled conversations with employees that

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Aleta Norris is a partner and co-founder of Living As A Leader, a national leadership training, coaching and consulting firm. Living As A Leader supports the development of leaders in more than 125 organizations across the country. For several years, Aleta has been researching and speaking about the critical responsibilities organizations and leaders share related to the attraction, retention and engagement of the emerging workforce.

Here’s a secret: One-on-ones are among the best leadership strategies I know. 

But let me explain. By “one-on-ones,” I don’t mean the many one-to-one interactions you have with your employees every day. They’re not the drive-by conversations when a problem comes up or a new need arises. 

One-on-ones are formally scheduled conversations with employees that occur with a consistent cadence – weekly, bi-weekly or monthly. Some organizations call them “check-in sessions” or “touch bases” or “sit-downs.”  

Whatever you call them, one-on-ones work. They create a dedicated, private, consistent space for leader and employee to discuss issues, praise progress, encourage development opportunities, reset priorities – anything necessary to help employees stay on track toward success. 

And over time, they help you build your relationships with your people. 

While one-one-ones are a terrific leadership strategy, they do need a little structure to be effective. Just four simple questions create all the structure you need for effective one-on-ones, and each question brings unique and valuable benefits. 

Try these four questions. And before you do, let your employees know that these questions will guide your one-on-one conversations, so they can be ready to respond and engage. 

1. What’s gone right since our last one-on-one?

Start your one-on-ones with the positive. Avoid the human inclination to focus only on the gaps and what’s not working. Much of what your employees do is good stuff, successful stuff. Acknowledge it, value it.

Let your employees tell you about – and celebrate – their wins. Their accomplishments give you helpful information about their performance and their strengths. Starting with the positive also creates good energy and good feelings, so it sets a constructive tone for your communication and relationship.  

2. What challenges have you faced since our last one-on-one? 

Not everything goes as planned. Commitments fall short. Obstacles come up. This is a chance for you to hear about projects, situations or commitments that aren’t going as well. These are opportunities for you to remove roadblocks, provide needed resources, support in new ways or reinforce accountability. It’s a chance to coach.

When you encourage your employees to tell you about their challenges, it also sends the signal that, ultimately, employees own their performance – the good and the bad. A big part of your role as a leader is to help them navigate the rough waters that can derail their success. 

3. What do you need to get done between now and our next one-on-one?

Now we set the agenda for future action. Your employees’ action items and to-dos from this question become their commitments for moving forward. They also become the foundation for the next one-on-one conversation, where once again, you’ll discuss their new successes and new challenges. 

Notice, too, that the nature of this question gives your employees choice. This question empowers and drives ownership. As much as you can, let your people decide their priorities and areas of focus. As Jack Stack wrote, “People will support what they help to create.” 

This is also your time to share new information you have, or to discuss and assign other action items or projects between now and next time. 

4. How can I better support you?

This is the golden question of leadership. Often, our employees don’t give us the feedback we need to lead them well. Here’s a chance to learn how you can be a more effective leader for your people – each of whom needs and wants different things from you to perform at their highest levels.

But be warned: At first, your employees might not have much to tell you. But keep asking. Over time, if you’re genuinely curious and open when asking this question, they’ll develop the trust and faith in you to ask for what they need. 

And you’ll get the answers you need to lead well. 

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